Getting your heart shattered to pieces is awful. It sucks like no other because unlike having a physical wound, this type of ache just breaks you from within. Now breaking up being as hard as it is in this society, it is more than normal that a relationship ends while both parties still hold so much love for each other. Usually these relationships are ones behind the eyes of the family and the couple comes to find out the hard way once engaged that factors like: age, tribe name, social background and so forth play a role in the family dictating if they match or not.
It has happened to most of us where you just click with that perfect guy or girl – well mostly they are not but choose to take those minor differences as perfect imperfections – talk quite often which then turns to everyday and obviously fall head over heels in love with said person.
You mesh so well that time passes by and there you are celebrating milestones with this person and start planning a future together – both in your head and out in the open – while waiting for the right opportunity to pop the question or hear the question which in this case is not the conventional ‘Habibi, will you marry me’ but rather ‘Habibi, tell your family we will be knocking on the door for a visit soon’. And until that moment, his or her faults are endearing and make them who they are.
That’s when you see your relationship in an entirely different light. You find yourself having to try harder and harder to keep things together while the other side only ignores the problem or distance themselves unable to handle it. I found myself in that same position last year, struggling to connect and be on the same wavelength to the extent that my happy go lucky personality turned into a weary and cynical one. I kept thinking that it was a phase, or a hiccup, or possibly just a post-engagement rut.
It takes everything in a person to realize that this is normal and that fixing your feelings is not possible. You can only fix what you can by ending what may possibly never have the future you planned in your head. That is after realizing the truth behind the character of that person and their dealings with their family. Family is our weakness most of the time and being in such a tight knit society makes it difficult for many to break away. Those who have never taken upon themselves to live independently during studies or work are the ones who suffer the most where their heart tells them one thing but their mind tells them to be respectful to who brought them up. Not all of this is negative though because the perks of being in a community like Muscat make it easier to deal. Simply put there are plenty of family members or friends who have gone through it and give you their two cents about how to go about being normal again by letting your emotions wash over you and allow the healing process to begin.
This goes out to a couple of friends currently going through something I know too well so I decided to write it for them. If you are reading this and you are going through the same thing or have in the past. Comment below—we’re here for you.