Polygamy: The Never Ending Saga (Part 2)

3:15 PM



 It was a normal Friday, which I spent most of my day sleeping and relaxing since it’s practically my only day off. The pace of the day was pretty smooth and calm. Nothing to rush to, nothing to hurry on, and there was nothing worth to make me move my butt from the sofa that I have been enjoying watching TV on. Well that was until, a frantic phone call changed it all.

‘What? You must be kidding me’ I answered to a cry for help. Rushing to their house, my mom and I barged in to hear quarrels and screams from one person, while the others tried their best to calm her down. Arriving at the scene, I saw my friend’s mother practically losing her senses as her eyes bobbed out of their socket while threatening to kill herself.  ‘He doesn't want me anymore’ she screams while everyone else urges her to recite verses from the Qur'an to dispel any evil thoughts she has.

It took an entire army of women (literally more than 30 people) to get her to realize what she was trying to do. I wouldn’t blame her for her reaction and the shock she was sustained to. I know I might even do worse if I heard the same news. Her husband went and got himself another wife.  And it wasn’t any wife. No, he had to get himself married to his daughter’s best friend, an 18 year old kid. A girl who used to always spend time in their house, the same girl she cared for like she was her own daughter.

Days after the whole incident happened, she packed her bags and left her kids; an 18 year old, a 16 year old, a 7 year old and a 2 year old behind. She couldn’t take it anymore and decided to teach her husband a lesson for not cherishing her by dumping her kids' responsibilities on him. 

What would you have done if you were in her shoes? Would you leave your kids behind? Or would you agree and accept that you’d have to share your husband with someone who was like a daughter to you? Would you leave your past behind for soul searching?

Polygamy like divorce does affect kids in the bigger picture, but not many think of it that way. It’s high time people think before they act on something just because they feel like doing so. 

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7 Comments

  1. What bothers me about this is that some men (like in this story) decides what he would like to understand Islam like and applies his own thoughts. It is not allowed for him to get married without his wife's consent, and it is not allowed for him to get married for no reason.Period.
    7sbee Allah w n3m alwakeel 3alghaba2.
    Hmmmm now it would be tough for anyone to put themselves in her shoes, because we are not. But I would probably think twice about the effect it would have on my children, after all I am the adult in the situation and as a mother I should protect them (emotionally) not cause them trauma.

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  2. From what I understand is that the man doesn't need his wife's consent to get another wife. However, the man, should also, be respectful towards his wife's feelings, and not move the new wife, into the same home as the first wife.

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  3. #1: Marriage is not valid if it was not made public (includes first wife).

    #2: It should only be for the purpose of supporting orphans or widows or divorcees without family that can support them.

    The only virgin the Prophet S.A.W EVER married was Aisha and he was engaged to her BEFORE he married a widow (and not so beautiful) older than himself, Hafsah.

    In my marriage, and I am a happy co-wife, one of us was an orphan with no Muslim family. None AT ALL. and a divorcee the other. Only the first wife was a virgin before marriage. and we are the same age. And I wore niqab before marriage so my husband didn't know what I looked like beyond eyes and hands before he even asked to marry me (he proposed to me when he heard me give a lecture on Hijab and Women's Rights in Islam) no one can say one was married because one was more beautiful than the other.

    This woman's situation is really hard. Her husband did a crappy thing and he and his first wife should fear Allah for maybe their union is invalid:(. The girl's father or wali should also be blamed. There are PLENTY of unmarried young men in Oman if marriage for the sake of marriage is wehat was done. And if it was for money of the husband.... allah guide us all.

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  4. Mother of God.....daughters best friend?!?! Cringe-worthy, nowt more to be said.

    Feel for the poor wife and kids though.

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  5. Surely the imam who married him should be brought to justice for not confirming that his existing wife had given her consent as required by Islam.... the guy who pulled this stunt is obviously a selfish pig :tdown

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  6. one is .. enough , wonder how they handle more xD

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  7. Sythe: Islam ACTUALLY does not require the first wive's consent.... but it does require she should know about the wedding. And that he should only do so for for certain reasons which this case doesn't seem to have. :(. It isn't the Imam's job but it is the father of the bride's.

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